Truth – …And the Truth Shall Set You Free.

Behind Ted Baran’s Skull

November 9, 2019 The Last HiccupLeave a comment

When your life disappears before the eyes of truth, would you able to define truth?

John Keats: “Beauty is truth, truth beauty but what is beauty, and what is truth?”

Theodore “Ted” Lonzo Baran, Chief for Department of Public Safety (DPS) at Gallaudet University.

Three years ago today on November 8th, death came before my life and floated dead for ten minutes, it might be the longest ten minutes even if life was motionless. Death by default seemed to me, as I experienced, brutally unfair. Death is fail-safe predictor; Truth is a fail-safe predictor;

The central idea was simple: Truth would reveal itself, as Ted would sink to the bottom of the toilet, and only the guilt would drown truth.

The oppression, hatred, and norms, have been floating around Baran’s wings, while values, higher learning, and motivated hate-solving bullying have taken center stage on the Gallaudet University campus. The corrupt abuse of power. Gallaudet University as a safe place? Baran would make lives harder.

For the last 25 years, I had been working hard to change my life around. I took a lot of detours, struggles, death threats, going through the toughest road ahead, proving myself to the highest standards, and yet, when I moved to Washington, D.C. to begin my graduate school on a full scholarship possibly best moment and Gallaudet University was supposed to heal;

As I remember that day when I came into DPS headquarters, I informed Ted Baran of my responsibility, the first words Ted said: “That’s you. I can kick you out of Gallaudet University if I want to.” abusing his power and that begun the hatred right there. I never see something like this.

Ted “forced” me to stand upfront of graduate classrooms, presentations, workshops, anywhere on the campus to explain why I was jailed every day or I face extreme punishment like expelled from Gallaudet University.

The corrupt abuse of power. I was shocked by his threats. I refused to be profiled. That would lead to death threats, bullying, suicide and it is not healthy at all. Gallaudet University was supposed to be a place of healing. No one wanted to hear my stories. Baran got away. Is there a legal step for abusing power? Who would be the criminal in this picture?

Envision the scene: Baran has been strolling around the campus with abuse of power.

When I woke up from death, I had been targeted off the charges, hoping I’d taste my own execution by toxic culture. Facing the legal punishment of death is the most invisible reason, to inquire about the abuse of power by Baran.

I remember when I was on the stretcher recovering from a massive heart attack on the world’s most sacred ground of the Deaf, Several of Deaf people were cheering along with hands waving, while I put my thumbs up signaling that I’m all right and strong. Ted Baran was walking by and gave me a nasty look. I really remember that face that day. Whisking by. Like he was chuckling in his own head. Oh yeah, the weakness of a CODA who has a hatred for Deaf life. Not true CODA.

I wish I’d do something quickly to react by giving Ted my middle finger. I’d do it in a heartbeat. Everything went fast. Again, I’d give Ted Baran, “FUCK YOU, YOU FUCKING FUCK!” and I never have gotten the chance to do that, I blew that. Why didn’t I do that?

After I got out of the hospital, two days later, decide to visit Gallaudet University and showed up at DPS office to thank someone else there for dedication with open-minded, bumped into Ted with close-minded, being the better person, and I see that the hatred still floating in his body, mind, and soul. I was glad it was not Ted who attempting to save my life because he would not do his job and let my breath run out on his own watch. Like getting away with murder.

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Last March 2019, there was a play about Deaf people in Hitler’s Europe held at George Washington University (GWU), where the story was about targeting Deaf Jewish people, shaming them in the name of hate, scarlet letter on their foreheads, and living with the labels. Lifetime scars. Emotional well-being. Mental. Psychical. Just like “JEWISH” on their passports, dealing with the hate spectrum.

Ted Baran and I bumped into each other there, before the play begins, it is clear that play story had been inspiring Ted’s egoism, his abuse of power, and hatred. He loved the story idea about the abuse of power, killing their souls; He supported the hate machine. He was a perfect example.

Convo event: He showed up in DPS white uniform on Saturday evening;

Convo attire: Look good and be YOU.

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I was there wearing an enamel pin: REJECT HATE. That was the symbol of truth. Coming back from death that day, it makes me stronger than ever and will continue to show the truth. It was to break the evil spell. At that moment, I felt free but also exhausted and completely alive all at the same time.

That day, November 8, 2016: I asked an important question in front of the audience in SAC 1011 before my last breath, after I woke up from death, I realized that Gallaudet University was aiding and abetting Baran’s hatred. Same cloth. Same oath.

Remember Convo dress attire? BE YOU.

Baran wearing white uniform making a statement that he is above the abuse of power, white privileges, hearing privileges, and commander-in-hater, he does not need to dress up like this. Be YOU. Be casual.

Behind the badge, and that was what makes Ted’s skull are met with.

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-JT

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The History of Public Relations at Gallaudet University

August 17, 2019August 17, 2019 The Last HiccupLeave a comment

Double Standard?

July 16, 2019 The Last HiccupLeave a comment

DATA-ISM: The New Audism

November 8, 2018 The Last HiccupLeave a comment

Is Data-Ism the New Audism? Data can be tricky and could lead to the unlocking the power of data to gain more Audism to benefit Alexander Graham Bell as money generator.

Isn’t Hate Crime Invisible in Deaf Community?

September 13, 2018 The Last HiccupLeave a comment

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After I posted a video sharing my experience last night about hate crime where three people dressed up as fake police and attacked me at my own house on August 21, 2018 around 8:30 in the morning. They took advantage of me as the state of being Deaf by screaming, cussing, threatening, menacing and all.

It was a morning that I will never forget. Distressing, life-threatening, and psychological trauma has set me in. Since I was ten years old, where I experienced sexual abuse, it was enough traumas, and most of my life, I had been targeted, attacked, ridiculed, twist lies, you name it all. Five heart attacks including death where I was asked to shut up about truth. Depression is incredibly powerful. Enough!

Less than two weeks ago before what happened to me, I attended a town hall discussing about how to combat hate called Teach-in on Effective Community Responses to Hate and White Supremacy and I stood before panelists and congresswoman and congressman, asking a question, why did Deaf community suffer invisible hate crime? One of the panelists, an expert from Southern Poverty Law Center said that I was absolutely right and it is a huge problem in this society.

It was the answer we all needed to know. It’s so important that it is a sociological problem. Deaf people are always under-reported because of “auditory evidence”. It was pretty insulting—shaking my head. Auditory is privileged. Eyes are more powerful than auditory. I just cannot believe this. This is a good example of hearing privilege.

Even in 2018, Deaf people always been invisible, and it is OK for hearing people to attack Deaf people because they cannot hear and took it as a privileged opportunity. While this is an alarming spike of invisible hate crime targeting Deaf people around the world, it follows a pattern:

Deaf people are very easy to target. Many Deaf people do not report to law enforcement because they do not feel trusted, they do not feel strong community protection from them, they do not feel safe from the society including law enforcement and that is the major problem.

Ironically, part of the reason for hate crime against Deaf people, the society still do not accept attitude towards Deaf people—and the majority of society becomes more judgmental of Deaf people. What is it called? Surdophobia. What does it mean? Fear of Deaf people.

Hate crime is absolutely complex problem—Deaf people are under-reported at an even higher rate, more imaginable than we really understand.

“Hate in the culture and personality provides the basis for doing harm by justifying an attack”—Jack Levin and Jim Nolan.

Audism is a threat. Audism is a hate crime. The term coined in late 1970s, to suggest that it is better to hear and speak than not. The bias makes such language bigotry is an important for the poor state of critical learning and thinking. Audism and hate crime targeting Deaf people spread fear and intimidation beyond the immediate victims to those who cannot hear—is the greatest threat. Is the problem of hate crime actually becoming worse, or is it only iceberg of the problem?

So, “auditory evidence” wins. Even though in the first place, hate crime with motivation committed are most likely to get away that involves emotional, mentally and physical assaults than do other crimes generally do. That’s why Deaf people are invisible. Forever.

-JT

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My Thoughts: “A Quiet Place”

April 17, 2018 The Last HiccupLeave a comment

The movie, “A Quiet Place” is generating a lot of money more than we understand. Hollywood is the front burner of powerful information. It the most powerful oppression of Deaf people.

What Trump Said About AGBell and Deaf Person

December 21, 2017December 21, 2017 The Last HiccupLeave a comment

It is sad to see Trump, a bright president that does not know the history of Alexander Graham Bell that preaches bigotry and hate against Deaf people.

A Message for Someone Else

October 30, 2017 The Last HiccupLeave a comment

An old Cherokee told his grandson, “My son, there is a battle between two wolves inside us all.

One is Evil. It is anger, jealousy, greed, resentment, inferiority, lies, and ego. The other is Good. It is joy, peace, love, hope, humility, kindness, empathy, and truth. The boy thought about it, and asked, “Grandfather, which wolf wins?”

The old man quietly replied, “The one you feed.”–Unknown

How to Stop the Avalanche of Hate

October 14, 2017 The Last HiccupLeave a comment

I would like to express something off my mind for couple of minutes. For the last couple of weeks, I’ve received ugly postings about me from my own Deaf community. I am aware that I had been dealing with hate to make sure I disappear off the Mother planet. I come to understand the dangers of hate mongers than ever. Times I would be warned not to write about my experience as a returning citizen. This could not be further from the truth. If you have hard time reading the print in the picture on the left, I apologize for sloppy marker.

The questions I wrote down: Do we believe that youth who make horrible mistakes deserve second chances? Do we believe youth can develop character beyond their crimes?

I believe in resistance and challenge against hate, as a means of survival and hope. I did not create hate in the first place. You did. For 21 years, there are people had been threatening me and put me in human exile. That sucks because I had been working hard to change my life around. I refuse to live in someone else’s shadow.

For the haters out there, please understand this—TAUNTS just does not work. I do not need shame and disrespect, shows that hate STILL kills’ people and corrupt systems. However, I’ve reached the underlying reasons for the resistance and I believe in second chances. Sadly, due to institutional and societal barriers, once I entered back into community, there were challenges of employment, housing, and help for support and I’ve faced hardships where I had to deal with mental and physical abuses for telling truth.

Gandhi writes,

Many people, especially, ignorant people, want to punish you for speaking the truth, for being correct, for being you. Never apologize for being correct, or being years ahead of your time. If you’re right and you know it, speak your mind. Even if you are a minority of one, the truth is still there.”

My journey as Deaf returning citizen as indirectly described, has been carried around with the educational champions of the Sociology world I fell in love with, and found my Deafhood identity. The hardships are claimed. Deaf Studies are claimed. It is a new birth: the “origin” of my stories. All the hard work of building self-confidence, all the bulwark in the face of hate that is often subtle, yet no less compassion, than hate in the community. I remind myself to live constantly in George Orwell’s “Journalism is printing what someone else does not want printed. Everything else is public relations.”

When I see this photo the other day, I see it as a metaphor for the intellectual decline of American people to understand stories.

Hate is virtually deserted, devoid of human life; surrounded millions of old souls, the stories will be unthinkable. Is hate an unforgiving society? Does that mean it also allows deficit thinking to build more fear? Even a single story of a Deaf returning citizen can change the world. Will we accept the fact that hate is a painstakingly back-up human error? Are Deaf returning citizens even part of Deaf Studies?

I just wanted you to know that I stand strong. Sure, I can be hard on myself for my imperfections and mistakes even my failures and I am aware of the haters who are obsessed with me as a Deaf returning citizen and try to pull my life down. I’m tired of crab theory. I am tired of rumor-mongers. The last words of this blog when I would like to say that I deal with hate a lot, I do not hide my face under a mask or nothing. Here is the thing: More and more people criticize it, but most likely shift the blame for who is responsible.

Last October 2015, I was invited to give a lecture for CSUN Social Justice conference sponsored by Deaf Studies Association, I felt very good what I’ve contributed back to the community. That matters the most to me.

I continue to complete my ultimate goals. I will not be intimidated. Let’s remind ourselves this month of October is National Bullying Prevention Month.

-JT

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Once a Stalker, Always a Stalker

September 25, 2017 The Last HiccupLeave a comment

The more lies Gary says the more he is in denial, it makes him look awfully bad. In fact, he just blew it away. The picture of Gary holding Target nametag—proves that he was at the same place where I was interviewing for a job position. Who fucking cares about his nametag? So what! He thinks he’s a God for Target.

Yes, it was from an old friend who referred me to a job position available and I did not even realize Gary was working there when we bumped into each other and that’s where he told the manager about me. How did I know? It was from someone else who worked there at the same time when Gary was working there. Gary told a co-worker that he would make sure I would rot in hell and he told the manager as well, too. It is not about background check. It is about fear and corruption on his part.

Of course, I knew about background check and it did not stop me from applying for a job anyway. When I bumped into Gary at work, I realized that he would be running a rumor-mill around employment and would cause more hostile environment. Gary was the problem. Notice the language pattern—repeating and repeating that Gary was in denial about Deaf Expo. Enough said. Gary always brings mace with him. There was never a meeting or bump into each other in 2002 where he claimed. Gary is so bad at basic math that he could not figure out 5^th grade math question.

For the last time, I never said that Gary went to Super Bowl game at Deaf friend’s house in 2011. Gary must be really bad at reading between lines. No wonder why he couldn’t get to play first string in football. He wasn’t even good anyway. One more thing, he never played on a university team. He told a lot of people that he was playing for an university team–NCAA Division II team. I do not need God to deal with me. God needs to deal with him and would punish him for his lies. God already knew who he is. So much that he promised his friend that he would leave me alone. Once a stalker, always a stalker. He will follow me everywhere, no matter what. I need to protect myself.

-JT

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