Behind Ted Baran’s Skull

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When your life disappears before the eyes of truth, would you able to define truth?

John Keats: “Beauty is truth, truth beauty but what is beauty, and what is truth?”

Theodore “Ted” Lonzo Baran, Chief for Department of Public Safety (DPS) at Gallaudet University.

Three years ago today on November 8th, death came before my life and floated dead for ten minutes, it might be the longest ten minutes even if life was motionless. Death by default seemed to me, as I experienced, brutally unfair. Death is fail-safe predictor; Truth is a fail-safe predictor;

The central idea was simple: Truth would reveal itself, as Ted would sink to the bottom of the toilet, and only the guilt would drown truth.

The oppression, hatred, and norms, have been floating around Baran’s wings, while values, higher learning, and motivated hate-solving bullying have taken center stage on the Gallaudet University campus. The corrupt abuse of power. Gallaudet University as a safe place? Baran would make lives harder.

For the last 25 years, I had been working hard to change my life around. I took a lot of detours, struggles, death threats, going through the toughest road ahead, proving myself to the highest standards, and yet, when I moved to Washington, D.C. to begin my graduate school on a full scholarship possibly best moment and Gallaudet University was supposed to heal;

As I remember that day when I came into DPS headquarters, I informed Ted Baran of my responsibility, the first words Ted said: “That’s you. I can kick you out of Gallaudet University if I want to.” abusing his power and that begun the hatred right there. I never see something like this.

Ted “forced” me to stand upfront of graduate classrooms, presentations, workshops, anywhere on the campus to explain why I was jailed every day or I face extreme punishment like expelled from Gallaudet University.

The corrupt abuse of power. I was shocked by his threats. I refused to be profiled. That would lead to death threats, bullying, suicide and it is not healthy at all. Gallaudet University was supposed to be a place of healing. No one wanted to hear my stories. Baran got away. Is there a legal step for abusing power? Who would be the criminal in this picture?

Envision the scene: Baran has been strolling around the campus with abuse of power.

When I woke up from death, I had been targeted off the charges, hoping I’d taste my own execution by toxic culture. Facing the legal punishment of death is the most invisible reason, to inquire about the abuse of power by Baran.

I remember when I was on the stretcher recovering from a massive heart attack on the world’s most sacred ground of the Deaf, Several of Deaf people were cheering along with hands waving, while I put my thumbs up signaling that I’m all right and strong. Ted Baran was walking by and gave me a nasty look. I really remember that face that day. Whisking by. Like he was chuckling in his own head. Oh yeah, the weakness of a CODA who has a hatred for Deaf life. Not true CODA.

I wish I’d do something quickly to react by giving Ted my middle finger. I’d do it in a heartbeat. Everything went fast. Again, I’d give Ted Baran, “FUCK YOU, YOU FUCKING FUCK!” and I never have gotten the chance to do that, I blew that. Why didn’t I do that?

After I got out of the hospital, two days later, decide to visit Gallaudet University and showed up at DPS office to thank someone else there for dedication with open-minded, bumped into Ted with close-minded, being the better person, and I see that the hatred still floating in his body, mind, and soul. I was glad it was not Ted who attempting to save my life because he would not do his job and let my breath run out on his own watch. Like getting away with murder.

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Last March 2019, there was a play about Deaf people in Hitler’s Europe held at George Washington University (GWU), where the story was about targeting Deaf Jewish people, shaming them in the name of hate, scarlet letter on their foreheads, and living with the labels. Lifetime scars. Emotional well-being. Mental. Psychical. Just like “JEWISH” on their passports, dealing with the hate spectrum.

Ted Baran and I bumped into each other there, before the play begins, it is clear that play story had been inspiring Ted’s egoism, his abuse of power, and hatred. He loved the story idea about the abuse of power, killing their souls; He supported the hate machine. He was a perfect example.

Convo event: He showed up in DPS white uniform on Saturday evening;

Convo attire: Look good and be YOU.

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I was there wearing an enamel pin: REJECT HATE. That was the symbol of truth. Coming back from death that day, it makes me stronger than ever and will continue to show the truth. It was to break the evil spell. At that moment, I felt free but also exhausted and completely alive all at the same time.

Unknown-2.jpegThat day, November 8, 2016: I asked an important question in front of the audience in SAC 1011 before my last breath, after I woke up from death, I realized that Gallaudet University was aiding and abetting Baran’s hatred. Same cloth. Same oath.

Remember Convo dress attire? BE YOU.

Baran wearing white uniform making a statement that he is above the abuse of power, white privileges, hearing privileges, and commander-in-hater, he does not need to dress up like this. Be YOU. Be casual.

Behind the badge, and that was what makes Ted’s skull are met with.

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-JT

Copyright © 2019 Jason Tozier

This text may be freely copied in its entirely only, including this copyright message.

 

 

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Ted Baran: A Calumny of His Duty

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I would like to bring this message that Ted Baran, so-called Chief for Department of Public Safety (DPS) at Gallaudet University is still keeping his job even with his bullying tactics, and it does not make sense why he’s still the Chief for “PUBLIC SAFETY”—time for Ted Baran to be replaced with someone who is more understanding. No white supremacist ties.

“We want to make it very clear that we do not tolerate any form of hatred nor oppression. We believe that hatred and oppression have no place in Washington DC, especially on the campus. We aim to establish a safe space for all students to learn and grow within the city and campus.” You know what Ted say? EXCELLENT MESSAGE! Practice what Ted preaches—-remember that forever. Unbelievable.

I was forced by Ted to stand up front of classroom explaining why I was in jail —details must be explained—every day. Not just classrooms, but everywhere I walk around Gallaudet, I must explain why and if I do not explain what I was told, I would face expulsion from Gallaudet for good. It was actually a hate crime. It was never a safe space for me as a student to learn and grow within the campus. I never experienced so harsh like this in my life. I was never given a due process that I wanted to challenge Ted Baran.

Even today, I still deal with the effects of trauma on a continual basis. I guess one of the worst consequences of being attacked, murdered, bullied, and thrown at, should I walk around the campus with a label on my forehead. Yet, “we do not tolerate any form of hatred nor oppression” is the biggest insult to my intelligence and my journey to be better person. When I accepted into graduate school, I cried of joy. I cried because I thought there was a hope that I would get better.

When Baran was sharing his experience why he became a police officer through Registry of Interpreters for Deaf (RID) interview knowing that Deaf kids need help—it was unbelievable. I wonder those Deaf kids would feel trusted around Baran.

I was 12 years old KID asking for help. I was the ONE who asked for HELP. I cried! I cried! I cried! Columbia River Mental Health did not report this. State of Washington failed to report this. I was RAPED when I was ten years old. It was Spring 1983.

How? My female babysitter ordered me to take my clothes off in bathroom. She touched my penis. She put a wood stick up my ass and rough up couple of times. She got away with it. I could not understand. Did I understand it was wrong thing to do? I was naïve. I was clueless. I was powerless. It was perfectly normal. No one wanted to hear my stories. If I share my stories, I’d get threats. Hearing privileges at best.

Today, I still cry. I suffer more. I hurt deeply more. There are times I feel like giving up. There are times I feel like worthless. My life is very complicated—people throwing at me to live in the past over and over. It makes a trip for suicide attempts.

I really thought Gallaudet University would be very committed to provide a learning environment that is both safe and rigorous, one that empowers students the most, treating with the utmost respect and create a safe environment where students feels more empowered to learn with opportunities to reach their full potential as informed and knowledgeable students. Also, isn’t Gallaudet University supposed to be about learning, teaching, and make new meaning in anyone’s intellectual life?

Would I have encountered the same amount of ridicule, exclusion, and abuse at Gallaudet? Probably. Would I still have some of my self-esteem and self-image issues? I do not know. I write this post just to relate my experiences that I am still ostracized today and tomorrow until my life expired at final breath. I work extremely hard to change my life around. I had turned my back on the past I no longer wished to be part of.

I just cannot understand why Baran still keeps his job. Privileges. What affirmative steps that Gallaudet University claims that they advocate for oppressed minorities within in the Deaf population. That hurts the most. The fact that the law exists in the first place is the real problem. Any law that gives people freedom to kill others even if they provoked a fight is a flawed one, with such a perverse history of hatred and discrimination.

That is why we need to talk about institutionalized hatred and the subtle ways that Deaf returnee’s experiences impact our thoughts, our society, and our institutions including Gallaudet University. Supposedly, if Ted Baran murders me in real life, the jury’s verdict would be consistent with the law and Baran because he is Chief for Department of Public Safety. Unfortunately, the law is disgusting. Ted Baran is probably laughing when he reads this post because he thinks he’s untouchable. This guy is full of hatred.

One more time.

“We want to make it very clear that we do not tolerate any form of hatred nor oppression. We believe that hatred and oppression have no place in Washington DC, especially on the campus. We aim to establish a safe space for all students to learn and grow within the city and campus.”

You know what Ted say? EXCELLENT MESSAGE!

-JT

Copyright © 2018 Jason Tozier

This text may be freely copied in its entirely only, including this copyright message.

 

 

Encouraging Suicide at Gallaudet University

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American Foundation for Suicide Prevention:

My name is Jason “JT” Tozier. I am a survivor of “encouraging” towards suicide tendencies by Gallaudet University because of my status as Deaf returnee. I thank you for your honest leadership, and commit to human healing to continue and share awareness about suicide prevention.

I am even more heart-broken that Gallaudet University is hosting Out of the Darkness Campus Walk sponsored by Gallaudet University, Office of Student Affairs and Academic Support and the American Foundation for Suicide Prevention on Thursday, April 5th, 2018.

I was subjected to cruel and unusual punishment. I was forced to explain why I was jailed 21 years ago front of my graduate cohort and faculty members every time I enter into classroom setting up for suicidal tendencies. Silence hurts. If I do not explain why, then I would face harsh punishment. Possibly expelled from Gallaudet University.

This is not because of oppression and bullying or even lack of trust; instead, the meeting I was in 2014 was one of the most oppressive meetings in my life, such of them do not acknowledge that they were bystanders because they do not think they were. Therefore, it is not enough to ask an individual whether he was oppressed from oppressors.

Society can reinforce the oppressor’s self-blame in several ways. When shaming and humiliation is discovered on Gallaudet campus, the oppressed is often removed from the truth. People who experienced severe oppression often tell the truth from experience.

The bullying allows even by Gallaudet University who would argue that shaming, bullying, and humiliation has nothing to do with their behavior, I am merely the most convenient target; I became powerless. Which explanation is more comforting to Deaf returnee?

Gallaudet University choose to stay in silence is a reversal of roles and identities. Here’s my story: Don’t know if I have really conveyed how hard it has been for me all these years, how I really struggle in there through lots of depression, sometimes no sleep, I would struggle more, some days I’ve dealt with crossing between honest concern, and learning.

American Foundation for Suicide Prevention, I hope you would hear my story. I have more to share. Just like this one, “Stories have to be told or they die, and when they die, we can’t remember who we are or why we’re here.”—Sue Monk Kidd.

I actually died for ten minutes. I’m back from death and ready to share more stories. I guess my sensitivity has become stronger, deeper, and smarter. Gallaudet University was not honest about it. How can we prevent another suicide if Gallaudet University was not honest about it? Is there a Mask of Benevolence there?

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-JT

Copyright © 2018 Jason Tozier

This text may be freely copied in its entirely only, including this copyright message.

 

 

Dwight Benedict: Stop the Practice of Discrimination, Shaming, and Cruel Punishment