I must admit that I was shocked to know that I was awarded. I was very happy that I had been awarded a scholarship for my graduate studies at Gallaudet University. It shows that the scholarship committee had looked at my intellectual potential and ideas, and they wanted me in. My award had nothing to do with my past mishaps, and higher learning always means forgiving and changing. Gandhi: Be the change you wish to see in the world.
It takes one scholar to recognize another one. Winston Churchill said: never, never be satisfied or you will not improve. I do look to build more stories, be they told with wealth and wisdom. Carl Schroeder, a Deaf scholar once told me that I belong to the future of all the Deaf—many generations to come.
Shakespeare in Sonnet 60: Like as the waves makes toward the pebbled shore, so do our minutes hasten to their end; Each changing place within that which goes before, in sequent toil all forwards do contend. The key word in this above passage is “toil”—hard and continuous work. To strive to make yourself understood.
Carol Erting, then Dean of Graduate Programs writes me e-mail:
Dear Jason,
Members of the BIT found the additional information you sent to us, and we forwarded to them, very helpful. On the basis of those additional materials and our conversations with them, a small number of them (perhaps two) would like to meet with you, the circumstances and that led to your lack of disclosure on the graduate application form. Rather than asking you to put this information in writing, they would like to have the opportunity to meet with you to allow you to explain in person. Ms. Karen Evans from the Dean of Student Affairs office will be contacting you to arrange for a meeting. If you have a question, please don’t hesitate to contact me.
Couple of hours later, Dirksen writes me e-mail at 5:07 PM,
“Jason, I hope you are doing well. I wanted to clarify that the members of the BIT that you would meet with do not include Ted Baran. I do very much encourage you to follow up on this request and to see this as a positive development. Thank you, Dirksen.” Funny thing…there was never two people, there were SIX. Dirksen lied to me—good job!
Then Feb 27, 2014—I agreed to the meeting at 11 AM as I was arriving on the campus getting ready for the meeting, I walked into the building and informed Karen Evans, the ghostwriter and receptionist for Dwight Benedict that my existence had arrived, I remember waiting for 15 minutes, Ted Baran was walking into the office, he was walking like an asshole by the highest human standards, after discussing with Dirksen, like I wrote in another post, I believe Baran’s accusation of me is a calumny of his duty. Ted will always abuse his power to fulfill selfish personal desires and goals.
Dirksen was walking into the office with long coat and sat next to me on the couch, assuring everything will be fine until I informed him that Ted recently walked into the office and Dirksen pretended to be confused. Good actor. “I thought Ted was not supposed to be in the meeting as you wrote me an e-mail few weeks ago assuring me that Ted would not be there.”
Then Dwight walked into the building and quickly recognized me sitting there with Dirksen on the other side, Dwight’s facial expression was more than a hateful expression. He was so ready to “bulldoze” me with administrative power he enjoys very much as a Deaf white man with privileges. Then Dirksen signed to him, “I thought Ted was not supposed to be in the meeting because Ted made it clear that he will not join the meeting himself two weeks ago” then Dwight became very upset, “Do you want to postpone this meeting for other time?” in a very aggressive tone. He repeated this twice. That was a very nice way of a professional behavior coming from the director of Behavioral Intervention Team. Kind of funny, is it not?
I told Dirksen, “I can handle that. I had been around worst people other than him.” and we went ahead with the plan and entered into the meeting. The only regrettable thing is that I did not bring a lawyer and that was one of my mistakes (I am sure that Ted was laughing right now while reading this post) —two minutes later after the meeting had started, they introduced who they are. Dwight was the first person to start the meeting, he was signing way too fast front of my eyes—his aggressive and egoistical tone showed the true colors. I asked him, “Can you slow down? You were too fast. Geez. Take it easy.” then Dwight signs at much slower pace. What a jerk.
That Dirksen’s words to me, “Individuals who undergo therapy have a much greater chance of changing their live and redeeming themselves in society. This is also recognized on behalf of the BIT.” and a “positive development”. Not only that Dirksen liked to me, but also lied about Ted showing up. Even worse that I was being used and exploited. There were times when there were things worth fighting for but helping the Deans build a bigger endowment on an erratic priority is not worth touting for. Looking at Deaf returning citizens especially at Gallaudet University, I see the same pattern. Gallaudet University lied to me and lied about me. It has informed me that there was no leadership crisis; it has informed me that there was no campus brutality.
All of these lies were lies. There has been no leadership at Gallaudet University with a lame duck president at this time that happened to be Alan Hurwitz. There were some students who had the right to seek higher education at Gallaudet University that do not welcome lies about them, they have instead done everything they can to help Gallaudet community and fight against the oppressors.
The heat continues to turn up at Gallaudet University. The liars need to hold accountable for their self-touting arrogance and indifference. Carl Pramunk said that he would make sure that Buff and Blue would write about me. Ted Baran has zero knowledge about the successful stories about Deaf returning citizens. Like I said in my previous blog post, Ted wanted me to announce my status every time I enter into an academic classroom or I face punishment just like that. Every time! This is bullshit! This calls for cruel punishment as in 8th Amendment in the United States Constitution. Ted was smiling at me and said, “Why not?” and of course, I said, “I refuse to do that. My debt is enough.”
Ted was encouraging for students to begin harassing hatred that inflict or intend to inflict my emotional or physical harm in classrooms or anywhere on the campus. Is it not enough hostility? I was shocked that the “professional development” by professionals like Dwight, Carol, Dirksen, Ted, Carl, and Lauri, completely blind by hateful spews.
The 8th Amendment in United States Constitution, “cruel punishment” and worst of all, Dwight signs, “OK, I am going to make an executive decision that I will make you suffer and follow the rules or else to order me (JT) to report to Ted every [fucking] day and not be allowed to be in gym, dorms, even study groups should I be part of, library that I am forbidden to check out books and study there as a graduate student, and not to grab any food from cafeteria.” I was beyond shocked how mean-spirited and illegal Dwight can be.
There is a Gallaudet “bible” called Manual of Operations where you have the right to obtain this from the office of President. Actually, Paul Kelly hides it. The bible is all about running Gallaudet, ranging from personnel to financing to communication policy. Within the guide from the bible, the student unit fee was distributed to an organization and programs and one of them are Buff and Blue and Carl failed to follow the principle. By threatening to write about me in Buff and Blue, Carl has been coping out. Simply stated, Carl could not articulate and facilitate Buff and Blue through the Administration. The Peter Principle informs Gallaudet students including Deaf returning citizens that Dwight was so advanced to its highest level of competence and remained at this level at which Dwight became incompetent. Now the Administration no longer reliable students’ voice!
Dwight can do is self-touting—an intimate part of ego. I remember Dirksen was sitting next to me on left side in the meeting; I was looking at Dirksen in disbelief along with Dwight agreeing with Carl’s decision when they were supposed to be on my side. I protested against Dwight’s oppressive and hateful approaches, the meeting was adjourned to be done, then we all shook hands. I did not feel very good by shaking Ted’s hands, his hands were too soft and wimp. Ted’s eyes were born from Satan’s forces. That was where I got fooled badly by their lies. The Gallaudet of Evil. I felt powerless. I lost trust in Dirksen and Carol where they betrayed me beyond my human dignity. Every student has a protected status; I face with heavy discrimination as a student already.
My mind was spinning—and realized that I was the subject of an intellectual vulnerable in Gallaudet society. I needed the opportunity with my own space to reclaim and revitalize my human rights to protect my life and allow me to survive and flourish in higher education, so I could advance my future.
To be continued…..
-JT
Copyright @ 2017 Jason Tozier
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...And the Truth Shall Set You Free. 
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