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Tag Archives: Anger

A Message for Someone Else

 

An old Cherokee told his grandson, “My son, there is a battle between two wolves inside us all.

One is Evil. It is anger, jealousy, greed, resentment, inferiority, lies, and ego. The other is Good. It is joy, peace, love, hope, humility, kindness, empathy, and truth. The boy thought about it, and asked, “Grandfather, which wolf wins?”

The old man quietly replied, “The one you feed.”–Unknown

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May 26, 2017: Hate Crime in Portland, Oregon

On May 26, 2017 afternoon: A hate crime that shook the city of Portland filled with high emotions, sadness, and confusion. There is no time to ignore hate crime. Please take your time out of your community life and read those books to understand and fight against hate crime and Islamphobia, too!

We All Have Struggles

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Cherokee Story of Two Wolves:

An old Cherokee is teaching his grandson about life. “A fight is going on inside me,” he said to the boy.

“It is a terrible fight and it is between two wolves. One is evil – he is anger, envy, sorrow, regret, greed, arrogance, self-pity, guilt, resentment, inferiority, lies, false pride, superiority, and ego.” He continued, “The other is good – he is joy, peace, love, hope, serenity, humility, kindness, benevolence, empathy, generosity, truth, compassion, and faith. The same fight is going on inside you – and inside every other person, too.”

The grandson thought about it for a minute and then asked his grandfather, “Which wolf will win?”

The old Cherokee simply replied, “The one you feed.”

Good day, folks!

There is a new norm that there is a Deaf returned citizen is attacking a Deaf returned citizen. Since I will use the middle name to justify who the Deaf returned citizen is, the name is Nicole. I can understand Nicole’s anger. I am reading a book at this hour called Anger: Wisdom for Cooling the Flames by Thich Nhat Nahh really made me think for days and days. I really regret that I did not read that book earlier in my life. It is better to read that book than waiting too late. Nahh writes:

“A good teaching is the kind of teaching that you can apply directly to your life, so that you can transform your suffering. When you are angry, you suffer as though you are being burned by the fires of hell. When you feel great despair or jealousy, you are in hell.”

Nicole’s anger who is full of anger makes sure I LIVE IN THE PAST and the false statements made against me was reckless and tried to make sure I taste harm or emotional suffering and harm my reputation what would be called character assassination. I do not need ANGER. Since I am part of Deaf community, I need to remind Nicole—“Community” means—it is a NOUN, as in dictionary: A feeling or fellowship with others, as a result of sharing common attitudes; interests, and goals.

My goals in Deaf community is to bring positive attitudes and empower Deaf returned citizens is my biggest interest right now. Nicole is a returned citizen, too. Do not preach DOUBLE OPPRESSION. Am I part of Deaf community? Nicole has had no authority to think that my figure should not belong in Deaf community. Attacking me is not going to work at all. Let it go. Another quote from the same book I am reading above:

“When a person’s speech is full of anger, it is because he or she suffers deeply. Because he has so much suffering, he becomes full of bitterness.”

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As a Deaf returned citizen working hard to change my life around, the damage is even more hurtful. I believe in hope. I have a story to tell, since activism has long been one of my passion and since I knew that to make inroads into the circles of empowering Deaf returned citizens as much as I can. Again, I do not need to live in the past. For the last time before I go, again, the wonder of the same book above shares the most important thought of the day:

“To be happy, to me, is to suffer less. If we were not capable of transforming the pain with ourselves, happiness would not be possible.”

Anger is not the answer. I became better person to deal with the growing pains first and learn how to change my life around for the betterment. It is the only way to go. I do not need to live in Nicole’s shadows.

-JT

Copyright © 2017 Jason Tozier

This text may be freely coped in its entirely only, including this copyright message.

References:

http://www.whitewolfpack.com/2010/11/two-wolves-native-american-legends.html

http://www.virtuesforlife.com/two-wolves/

 

Laugh and The World Laughs With You

Image                                                 Identity Gone by Nancy Rourke

Laugh, laugh, laugh! Come on, it is not that hard to do! What is wrong with you?

Well, when I was growing up seeing family members in the same room, laughing, and I often asked them, “what is so funny?” They would say, “I am too lazy to tell you,” “it is not important to know,”  “you do not understand,” “get lost,” “who are you?” Why is the laughter not very much a part of my life? I became dumbfounded on-spot that something was funny in another language: spoken English. Not just the family gatherings, but I would watch movies with closed captions, I still did not laugh. Growing up as a kid, I was completely clueless about American Sign Language (ASL).

Growing up in THE hearing world all my life, I was just a stranger, an interloper without guidance, a lack of ASL, and confused with no goal or direction in life. As a boy growing up in a small town, I drank into my character a dark with empty life that had not shared enough with an important human property, laughter. Without laughing, it gave me a handful of toxic legacies that flushed me inside out.

There were several times when my cousin Tony and I would be watching a movie with some of comedy together, he was laughing hard but he noticed that I did not laugh. He then asked me why I would not laugh. I never really understood any part of the laughter. I was just an angry kid, knowing that my family did not bother to communicate with me. Also, I was angry that I was being bullied and ostracized at my school. I often landed me in the principal’s office where I would get accused, blamed and suspended right away. Those hearing peers would mock and laugh at me. So I did not laugh.

After I saw stories in ASL via vlogs and Deaf scholars, I was shocked to discover that I was able to laugh! It had transformed me from a lonely and introvert childhood. I always had trouble with the hearing world, and with laughter, I went to being an outgoing, sociable jock, just a full of life.

I lived with the label in hearing world all my life until ASL came into my life that removed my depression right away. As my story goes on, I saw people laughing with furtive glances in public.  I could remember for the first time when I laughed in ASL in the air, it became free. It changed my life; I still feel the stigma from growing up in the mainstreaming world. I believe that mainstreaming changed the presence of who I am. It is the most reviled label that I lived in that world.

When I was 20, I chose to move out of from a small plot of land in the rural southwestern Washington State town, population of 500, the back door of the single-wide house faces the forest—the fact that I had to escape from vigilant attacks. The stigma by not laughing too much followed me around until I met Deaf scholars. I never knew they knew how to make me laugh! What kept me going? My anger, my guilt, my ignorance.  I had lived in the hearing world. My return to a “normal” life has been slow. I needed to go to ASL festivals more often. With glints of laughing in ASL made a lot of progress where I had opened up to my friends and relatives outside my immediate family.

I realized that laughing is itself a learned behavior. ASL is the language usage to learn. I was intrigued by seeing comedies in ASL to help me identify myself as a Deaf person. The act of role in ASL makes a huge repetitious performance of Deafhood that is dictated by a hearing dominance culture. It questions the idea of laughing in ASL is very important to recognize the state of being Deaf from which hearing world deviates. Learning how to laugh in ASL goes through a fallow period and has some conceptualization of what I am to ASL around me before I can comfortably live in the world. After all, laughing is contagious if it is shared and understood.

-JT

Copyright © 2013 Jason Tozier

This text may be freely copied in its entirely only, including this copyright message.